A father and son relationship is complicated.  The father is the head of the house hold, the bread winner, and the keeper of his flock.  The son, well, is just trying to survive the next eighteen years while living up to his dad’s expectations.  His official title, other than couch potato or freeloader, is unknown.  He has yet to go off into the world and make a name for himself.  A good father only wants what is best for his son – a job, healthy kids, a beautiful wife and a couch preferably located in the comfort of his own home.

Barkley Michaelson (Bryan Greenberg) is a graduate student with an evil genius for a father, a college professor of chemistry and a Noble Prize recipient.  Barkley is broke, single, and a push over.  His father, Dr. Eli Michaelson (Alan Rickman) is a chauvinist, a cheat, and an egotistical windbag.  Both are discontent with each other and both are stuck in the same crazy and mixed up world.

Here’s the gist: Dr. Michaelson is awarded the Noble Prize.  Barkley meets a beautiful poet named City Hall, played by Eliza Dushku.  He spends a passionate night with her and ends up being kidnapped.  The ransom for Barkley’s safe return is 2 million dollars – the same amount given to the good old professor by the prize committee.

This film is like the little engine that could – remember that story? Well, just when this tale about a group of sycophants seems to run out of steam, it picks up again and continues on to the finish line.  I can’t explain it any other way.  That’s what it feels like watching this film – the story drags from scene to scene, making this picture just too darn long.  Surprisingly, Nobel Son has a charm that keeps you interested long enough to see what happens next.  It keeps going and going, revealing plot twist after plot twist.

The cast of veteran actors is impressive: Danny DeVito, Ted Danson, Ernie Hudson, Bill Pullman and the lovely Mary Steenburgen.  Having an all star cast doesn’t work for every film.  In some cases, directors are just lucky.  Here – it has to do with talent more than the Juju coming from a rabbit’s foot.  The performances, as expected, are reputable.  Alan Rickman is the one to watch.  He plays a crazed and horny middle aged scholar with ease – yup, it would make every lonely college professor ashamed and envious.  It is down right funny.

There are a lot of schmucks out there in the world: the fifth member of the Beatles, you know, the one that called it quits because the kazoo just wasn’t in style or the creator of reality television, and the clueless despot who can’t decide whether Mentos is a candy or breathe freshener.  The truth is those schmucks may find themselves in the history books, but they are quickly forgotten, lost somewhere between the guy who invented Zima and the pilot of the Hindenburg.

That said – let us also not forget the losers of the world – those that have lied and cheated to get ahead, like, the girl scouts.  Let us thank the stars above that our daughters are not in a Girls Gone Wild video, yet.  And let us pray to the gods that we weren’t the inventor of the atomic bomb, the mustache comb, and the Beta recorder or worse become the parents of one of the most hated men in history.

Valkyrie (2008) is a thriller about a group of German officer’s attempt to assassinate Hitler.  Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) is a conspirator that leads a plot to regain Germany from the S.S, a protective squadron of the Nazi organization.  With previous attempts failed, Colonel Stauffenberg and the German resistance orders Operation Valkyrie in effect, the final plan meant to overthrow the dictator set out to destroy Germany and the rest of the world.

A story about Nazi soldiers with heart.  It sounds like something straight out of Narnia.  Take away the violence and the genocide and they are human beings just like you and me.  History has a way of portraying the most villainous of people as inhumane.  We forget that even murderers must love and are loved.  They love to kill, at least, that is certain.  And we would love to kill them.  Broadway will probably adapt this film into a theatrical show.  Hey, why not, they have done worse.  Stomp was a hit.

This film is intriguing.  It captivates.  The concept is original.  This story is a first for Hollywood and that is what keeps the onlooker interested.  Tom Cruise is a veteran and he is well accompanied by great actors.  Bottom line: Valkyrie is a film that was well shot and skillfully acted.  It is a DVD worth getting.  Ultimately, though, since this film is a historical thriller, historical buffs you be the judge.

Time travel is a sporadic theme in cinema. The end of the world is near and the only way to stop it is to travel back in time to change a critical and life altering event. The hero, a maladjusted spectator, reluctantly intervenes to prevent it from happening. Call it: dooms day, the end of times, the apocalypse, the great tribulation, or judgment day – what ever it is called, there is no escaping the outcome. The hero always does what is necessary and never strays from the objective. Yeah, traveling through time is never a simple feat. Given that technology, I would have had time to eat a burger, kick Hitler in the ass, and get a lap dance from Marilyn Monroe.

The Terminator (1984) was written and directed by James Cameron. The film featured the T-800, a time traveling cyborg programmed to assassinate Sarah Connor. Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, the terminator was an unstoppable villain created by Skynet, a supercomputer that became self-aware. In order to protect itself from being shut down, Skynet turned against its human creators and began a killing spree of human casualties. From then on, human survival and the preservation of the world remained in the hands of one man, John Connor.

The year is 2018, John Connor (Christian Bale) takes control of the resistance and leads a mission to destroy the machines. Human beings are hunted like animals and Skynet has taken over. Los Angeles is now a waste land and Connor is the target. Pockets of rebel soldiers fight to keep the resistance going, but the terminators are tireless and will not stop until every human being is killed. Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin), a teenage soldier is the key to this saga. He is a tough and gutsy kid, surviving on his own until he befriends an ex-con named Marcus Wright played by Sam Worthington. The two must find Connor before the machines do.

Most have seen or are otherwise familiar with the Terminator franchise. It has become a sort of symbol in pop culture cinema. The following mishmash of words is still spoken to this day and in a lousy German accent: I’ll be back. Who hasn’t been guilty of repeating that phrase at the most foreseeable moment? It is an expression that has become a popular tagline for anyone wearing Ray-Bans, a leather jacket, while riding a Harley and packing a shot gun or if you are a 6’5 mechanical robot.

Remember the prequels? Good. Now, let us catch up. Judgment day has happened and most of humanity is gone. Skynet has multiplied. The present will determine the fate of all things past and future. Confused? Well, this film is a doozy. Unfortunately that last note is not a compliment. Who would have thought that such a great concept and story would fail so miserably? Not me. It seems that Director McG has a better track record as a television producer. This isn’t the O.C, bitch. The fans demand something great. Granted, yes, this film has a lot of action, a lot of dramatic twists and turns, but it is unsatisfying. Ever had an enema gone wrong? It is not a good feeling. The editing was choppy. The caped crusader in military fatigues was unconvincing. The only thing holding this pile of broken parts together is Mr. Worthington. At least McG got that right. That character alone has given new life to this franchise despite the mediocre attempt.

The most disappointing of all was the last minute edit of the lovely Ms. Bloodgood’s topless scene. What kind of sadistic bastard would cut that out?

Ghosts, Roswell, Bigfoot, angels, and demons – do you believe? Are you crazy? Probably. Why do we buy into all of these mysteries and unexplainable events? Whatever those reasons are be assured that it is not enough to satisfy our curiosity. We are meddling creatures always looking for answers. Every day new conspiracies develop, secrets are erased, and theories are formed. Yes, the next yahoo claiming to have all the answers will probably sell millions of copies of a book that took minutes to write. I confess – I refuse to buy that book. And like the rest of you, I would rather wait for the movie to be released in theatres.

Written by Dan Brown and published by Pocket Books in 2000, Angels and Demons introduced the incomparable Professor Robert Langdon, a symbologist from Harvard University. You guessed it – he is the only one of his kind and the only one prepared to solve the codes and riddles that somehow cross the threshold between religion and science. Stop a murderer, unravel a crime spree, and reveal the details of a centuries old conspiracy theory before a chunk of the world is blown to pieces – yes, all in a days work for Robert Langdon.

Directed by Ron Howard, Angels and Demons is the sequel to the hit film The Da Vinci Code. Professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) must scour the streets of Rome to expose a diabolical plan aimed to destroy the Vatican. The perpetrators – a secret society comprised of renowned scientist and scholars who call themselves the Illuminati, the enlightened ones.

Christians, atheist and pagans lend me your ears. Angels and Demons is a fun film and nothing more. Of course, the crazed will always find something to protest about. Hollywood is a pimp and religion is its bitch and together they will make millions and millions of dollars. That is inevitably. What is also inevitable is the talent in this film. The direction is top notch – yup, Mr. Howard has done his homework. The acting was decent – nothing memorable there. Tom Hanks is a great actor, but Robert Langdon is a character that lacks substance. So what if he is a symbologist big whoop. It is a race against evil. The clock is ticking. Will good overcome evil? Should you see this film? Sounds familiar…Jack Bauer must be shaking with madness in his combat boots.

A director with a twisted sense of humor will either be praised or misunderstood. They fall between the cracks of the film industry. It’s not until the soccer moms, the fundamentalists and the politicians pass judgment that the rest of us will see a picture for what it truly is. If it is not butchered by the ratings board first. Observe and report is a dark comedy that crosses every cinematic threshold known to man. It is raw, perverse and funny in a Felliniesque sort of way.

Written and directed by Jody Hill (The Foot Fist Way, 2006), Observe and Report is not just another film about an average and over weight mall cop. Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen) is head of security at the Forest Ridge Mall – a typical suburban shopping center. A conservative enforcer of the law, Ronnie and his team of oddball security guards must catch a flasher, a middle aged perpetrator terrorizing women with his evil display of pink flesh. It is not a pretty sight.

The cast: Ronnie is a politically incorrect do-gooder who happens to be a bipolar gung-ho maniac with a mall badge. Girls will swoon at this potty mouthed badass with a heart of gold. Brandi (Anna Ferris) is Ronnie’s crush – a blond-haired and big-boobed cosmetician who despises him. Detective Harris (Ray Liota) is Ronnie’s nemesis – a tough and street smart detective who will do what it takes to bring him down. Include two weapon savvy Asian twins, a drunkard of a mother and a best friend that sounds like a pimp and eureka – it is a great stocking stuffer.

A memorable cast spewing out witty dialogue with a couple of cuss words sprinkled in is a film meant for success. There aren’t too many films that would make a great drinking game. Every time someone says the F-word let’s drink up…ironically almost every scene has that infamous word in it. Observe and Report is not for the weak of stomach. Wait patiently to be shocked and disturbed. This picture will cause uproar. Every conservative and liberal circle alike will probably protest and gag in disgust, but that is the beauty of this film. Rogen is a shrewd comical actor. He is the new leading man. It’s bloody likely that Hanna Montana fans will skip this one. Unfortunately, Observe and Report will not break box office records. But let’s not count this film out yet. It has legs to keep going for a long run. Spoiler alert…there is a male genitalia swinging back and forth at some point in the film. Be warned.

Country: Canada
Genre: Comedy
Release: March 2009
Minutes: 94

It doesn’t take a lot of brain cells to make a stoner film. There is nothing to it – write a screenplay about two immature, sexually deprived, pot-smoking slackers and give them something clever to say. There are three elements needed here: a wacky adventure, naked women, and a lot of smoke. We can’t blame the working stiffs in Hollywood for trying to capitalize on something that most people do while watching a film. It is their constitutional right. Just remember the wisdom our hippie forefathers gave us – like the old saying that said – if it’s green smoke it. …

Revenge of the boarding school dropouts is a true story about a group of students from the inner city, trying to overcome the chaotic world of drugs and sex, while graduating from a top level boarding school. Open a window and let the smoke clear. Have something to eat – a slice of pizza, a bag of chips or an ice cream sandwich. Press play and watch the film all over again. O.K. – Revenge of the boarding school dropouts is a story about a group of oddball snowboarders, trying to succeed as a professional sports team, while partying, smoking weed and getting laid.

Featuring Tom Green (Road Trip, 2000) and Dave England from the MTV television series Jackass, this comedy tries to painfully recreate what other stoner films have done in the past – create a THC induced good time. It fails miserably. It is unfunny. The storyline is weak and the dialogue makes each scene appear like an awkward mess.

What ever happened to Tom Green? He is a decent comedic actor. But in this film, he is like a punch line that bombs – badly. This role should have been given to his Guatemalan counter part – Tomas Verde. See what happens when a punch line bombs – it destroys a joke to pieces.

This film has a respectable cast of young actors. It is a shame to see a bunch of talented people star in a film that should have been shot as a porn flick – what about – Revenge of the Boarding School Slut Dropouts. The title could work given another forum.

Fans only expect one thing from a comedy – to laugh and then to laugh again. The Chinese philosopher Confucius once said: If it’s not funny even after smoking a blunt – then it must not be that funny.

Those after school specials from the 80’s are darn right funny. There was nothing like seeing poor little Timmy drink beer for the first time. He was a sixteen year old boy – pimpled faced and in love with the most popular girl in school. Who can forget Brittney, a pretty blonde cheerleader with pom-poms the size of basketballs. Oh, how she moved! Who knew that television was meant for more than just watching Tom and Jerry cartoons? There were valuable lessons to learn back then – how a bill becomes a law, my ass! It was just not enough to say: drink alcohol and die. It’s that type of argument that makes a teenager drink in the first place. That begs the question – cross an after school special with a horror film and what do you get?

Written and directed by Wes Craven, the Last House on the Left (1972) was first rejected by the ratings board for being too violent and sexually obscene. Even after heavy editing, this film, once called – Sex Crime of the Century – was still considered unfit for an audience. Two teenage girls go to a rock concert. Girls meet boy. Boy has marijuana. They smoke a joint. Boy’s father is an escaped killer. Girls are kidnapped, beaten and raped. Parents get even and the killer dies.

Thirty-seven years later, the remake brings back the sadistic and treacherous killer of the 70′s, Krug, played by Garret Dillahunt. Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton) and her parents John (Tony Goldwyn) and Emma (Monica Potter) are the typical blonde-haired and blue-eyed all American family: the father is a doctor, the mother is a professor, and the daughter is an award winning swimmer. In need of some peace and quiet, this family of overachievers head for their vacation home – the last house on the left in the middle of a secluded wooded area. Mari and her friend Paige (Martha MacIsaac), a cashier at a convenience store, meet a boy named Justin (Spencer Treat Clark). He looks harmless – the average teenage slacker, trying to buy cigarettes. At this point, everything goes wrong. Justin leads the girls to his hotel room to smoke a joint. Minutes later, the boy’s father, Krug and his psychotic brother Francis (Aaron Paul) and Krug’s girlfriend Sadie (Riki Lindhome) arrive and take the girls hostage.

The Last House on the Left is not a horror film. It’s a crime scene. Director Dennis Iliadis is either a troubled individual or a film maker in need of psychiatric help. This film is hauntingly violent, bordering on what is considered entertainment or a downright disturbing mess. The storyline revolves around the physical abuse and rape of the main protagonist. Nothing is censored. Paxton is brave and does a jaw dropping job playing the victim. Be assured that her screams sound real. But nothing is more disturbing than the man who every parent would love to kill – Krug. Dillahunt interpretation of a serial killer is alarmingly realistic. Unfortunately, that is the charm of this film, watching a killer do his worst. The Last House on the Left is hypnotic. It is like watching a drunken uncle dance on top of a coffee table, slip and then fall to his doom.

The premise of the film is straightforward – what would you do if your daughter’s killer was standing in front of you? In Hollywood, every tragedy has a hero. Payback is a bitch, it’s brutal, bloody and it makes you think, while you’re barfing all over the theater floor. Remember, keep repeating to yourself: It is only a film – It is only a film.

The typical horror film starlit is young, attractive, and stupid. She hears a noise in the middle of the night, instead of calling the police or grabbing a bottle of holy water, she investigates. Wearing a two piece assembly that accentuates what got her the job in the first place, she walks through a dark hallway. It is inevitable to be scared isn’t it? What happens next is a proven formula in horror films: a sudden loud noise followed by someone or something jumping out from no where. It is what gets our blood pumping.

Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman) is haunted by an evil spirit called a dybbuk, an escaped demon from hell that possesses the body of a living person. Looking for answers, Casey turns to Sofia, a mysterious woman living in a retirement home. Haunted by the same entity, Sofia reveals that the only way to stop a dybbuk is by performing a religious ritual. Reluctant to help, Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman) steps in and offers his expertise. Familiar with the practice of driving out demons from the possessed, the good Rabbi performs an exorcism.

Directed and written by David S. Goyer, The Unborn is a film much like the average high school teenager – it is insecure and unsure about where it fits in. It is the Grudge and the Exorcist and many other horror films mixed into one and it fails. Produced by Director Michael Bay (Transformers, 2007), the Unborn is a horror flick with unique monsters, intriguing subplots and a decent actor or two, but it is still the oddball in a list of great films.

Horror films that do not make the cut are stuck in B-Movie limbo. Apparently, it doesn’t take much to end up there. If there is a masked serial killer butchering every human being in sight, a psychotic doll suddenly coming to life, or a demon desiring human flesh – it is probably worth skipping. Originality tends to take a back seat when the main objective is to scare the audience. Forget about the plot, forget about the acting, and forget about the repetitive screams of terror, it only matters if you jump out of your seat or if you are clinching the arm of the person next to you. There lies the distraction. It is an old horror film trick, disguise a poor quality film with a chick running around half naked, singing soprano at the first sight of something gone wrong.

What ever happened to the good old days – when a scary movie relied on imagination and suspense -rather than the technology of a CGI program? Unfortunately, the Unborn is another run of the mill horror film that places computer imagery in front of everything else. Today most horror films are not worthy enough to reach the big screen, but somehow many do. Let us face it – most will end up at a discount bin sometime in the near future and then used to prop up the kitchen table.

No offense to the lovely Ms. Beldon or future scantly clad women in distress, but the naïve nineteen-year-old victim, wearing a push-up-bra is getting tired. Granted, any man with a pulse will find it to be great cinema. Hollywood it is time to break the monotony and try something new. Waiting for another female protagonist, killing all the bad guys in her underwear is getting dull. Until the horror genre changes its ways, a sudden girl on girl oil match in the corner of the screen could be the answer. Three words for you Hollywood – picture and picture.

Country: United States
Genre: Drama
Release:December 2008
Minutes:166

There is something about a good film that makes even the most restless of people forget where or who they are – at least for a brief moment. We escape and become in a strange way a part of the story that is on screen. Unfortunately, a good film does not come about everyday. A film starts from the moment the first word appears on the blank page and it is not until we see it in the theater that we experience its magic. We all may experience that magic differently, but we leave like different people because of it.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a film about a child born with an unusual disease – extreme old age. A young woman named Dorothy Baker (Faune A. Chambers), a caretaker of a nursing home, adopts the young child and names him Benjamin. Given minimal chance to live, Benjamin (Brad Pitt) grows up, taking on the appearance of an old man instead of a young boy. Surprisingly, he continues to grow and outlives all of the nursing home residents. Benjamin soon discovers he is growing younger and doing things that he dreamed of when he was an older man.

Screen writer Eric Roth is a genius. Brad Pitt’s performance is brilliant and unexpected. Director David Fincher (Fight Club) should be oozing with pride. Adapted from a short story written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benjamin Button is a film with a special message –something from one of life’s bag of lessons that we all have to learn sooner or later. What is it? Well, you are going to have to see it to find out. Beautifully shot and well acted, this film will be a contender for best picture of the year.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has a lot in common with another film – Forest Gump, but do not be discouraged, Benjamin Button is nothing like that film. It has its own soul with its own story to tell. Eric Roth wrote both screen plays, which means that he knows what he is doing. He can write a great story and a great tearjerker that will make you think.

Some words of advice – it is a long film so try not to have the large soda – better yet, keep off of liquids until the film is over. Believe me – you don’t want to miss a single frame. I have a feeling that you will be tested on what you have learned soon enough.

Today, a carbon copy of any hero in a fedora will do.  Granted, not all heroes wear hats or capes, but the similarities are evident.  The image of a dashing, smart and energetic protagonist with a come-hither stare makes the movie.  Women swoon.  Men feel invincible.  And both are ultimately unprepared for the adventure.  Unlike the superhero on screen – we avoid the bullets, the car chase, the violent acts of torture and unfortunately – the ten second romp in the sac with the evil she spy.

Noah Wyle is back once again, taking on the role that deemed him an action star.  Flynn Carsen, a lonely librarian with his heart on his sleeve, is lead to New Orleans to find a relic known as the Judas Chalice.  Armed with only his wits, Flynn meets a beautiful jazz club singer named Simone Renoir (Stana Katic), a woman with a secret of her own.  As clues are discovered and used to find the relic – a cup that raises the dead – Flynn and Simone must stay alive long enough to save the world from evil domination.

Anyone familiar with the Librarian franchise will quickly notice that nothing much has changed.  Flynn Carsen is still the librarian.  He continues to avoid deadly obstacles and women still seem to fall at his feet.  Since the first film, there has been a blueprint that this franchise has adopted willingly.  Clumsy know-it-all is thrown into an unknown world, corrupted by men who seek power in objects with some kind of historical significance and yes, like always, there is a beautiful female sidekick who has a thing for adventure and for nerds.  It is proven formula that every lonely college professor fantasizes about.

A bit late for Halloween, the Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice gives a new twist to the vampire legend.  Yes, vampires.  The Judas Chalice is the cup that gives life to the undead.  Made from the thirty pieces of silver that Judas Iscariot received for betraying Jesus, this chalice holds the power to bring back the one and only – Vlad Dracula.  Yes, Dracula.  Now if you’re still intrigued – give it a chance – it just might be something you can sink your teeth into.